Trying to Find the Sweet Spot

I go through my day to day life switching between living it, and observing myself living it.  Almost as if I am floating above myself and my thoughts and feelings from time to time.  My favorite is when I see myself over reacting or acting like a baby, and I am simultaneously watching from above with disapproval.

I’m writing this on a Sunday and for whatever reason Sunday is often times an end of the week reflective time.  I realized that I have been struggling with finding a sweet spot between being productive and busy, but not stressed out: looking for action and fun things to do with my kids, to having a strong desire to just hang out at home.

The word balance is all around us.  Everyone has reported on the importance of finding that balance in life.  I am at times afraid to admit when I would like more work to be going on for fear that I will suddenly get over loaded and wish for a greater amount of domestic time.  I want to relax I really do, but then a minute too long and I start feeling bored: feels a little Cybil like in moods. Work is busy, and one too many emails and my eyeballs start to bulge.  It’s as if the distance between good and too much is the space of a sliver of dental floss.  How can the scales tip so drastically from one second to the next?

I envision one drop of water being the catalyst for an entire flood.  I guess this part of being human is difficult to avoid.  Good, too much, no good, ok, mmm it’s not working, perfect and so forth.  It’s exhausting and I confess that my skills to strike the balance don’t seem to be improving.  There are days I even feel stuck and I dream going to bed at 2 in the afternoon. Is that wrong?

All of this analyzing brings me to the easiest solution I can get my brain around.  Schedule your workouts, say NO to being over committed, eat well so you can keep your mind and emotions clear, take good for you fun or adventures whenever you can (this is what I have a hard time with), don’t live to far in the future, and accept the fact that it’s going to be a constant area to work at.  One never strikes that balance and then they are good to go.  This is an everyday your whole life time kind of challenge.  Not too much to ask for right?  In the end don’t all the signs point to teaching us to do our best to be happy wherever we are and with whatever is going on?  I sometimes catch myself waiting for something to happen and deep in my heart I know it’s happening right now. Oh and almost forgot it’s required to levitate now and again outside of your body and see how ridiculous we humans can be.  It’s a good show that’s for sure.

For those of you who thought this was going to be an article about sex, sorry to disappoint.

~Gabby

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