Why Do I Feel like I have something to Prove?
The other day I took one of my daughters to go hit golf balls at a driving range. I really try to let my friend George Gankas coach her and I stay out of “making suggestions”. Here I am minding my own business when a friendly man started asking me about getting my kids into golf etc. I quickly realize after a few questions he knew who I was, and started asking questions that were loaded with information and familiarity. All of this is fine; I am just giving you a backdrop for the next part my conversation with him. He then proceeds to ask me “so, what are you doing now, JUST the Mom thing and raising your kids?” My ego soldiers came out with their guns blaring, but all I could muster up through a clenched jaw was “yup”. How come every time this happens to me I get bent out of shape and I start mentally making a check list of all the things that I am doing besides JUST the Mom thing? Why do I care about what anyone, never mind a perfect stranger thinks about what I am or am not doing in my life? What if all I am doing is the Mom thing? Why is this not bad ass enough? It is, but I realized that when it comes to raising kids people will put the word JUST in front of it. “So, what are you doing now, JUST saving the planet or are you JUST running a multi-billion dollar company”? It comes down to two things. One, we don’t give enough respect and credit to the job of raising children and taking care of a family. Second, you can put the word JUST in front of anything and somehow belittle it.
Listen, this poor guy didn’t mean any harm and he wasn’t even aware of his faux pas, but my reaction within myself was real. In fact his one comment could deter me from having any desire to interact with him at all. To top it off he then proceeded to tell me he was a minister at a nearby church. Great, now I’m going to hell for vibing a man of God. I think it’s important to identify and talk about the things that
bother us. This bothered me. I’m not going to take it home, and out on my husband or kids. I don’t want to feel like I need to walk around proving myself to people about how capable, smart or successful I am or have been. Just ear marking it, seeing it, being able to own the feeling and moving on can be sufficient enough.
Don’t let things build up or even worse chip away at your confidence. Whatever we are doing as long as we believe in what we are doing, are passionate about it, are doing our best, and working hard then we are successful. Titles, large paychecks, and notoriety are not the only measure of success. I have been on all sides of the coin and hands down my role as wife and mother have been the largest undertaking. My other rolls have given me more attention and an ego boost, but by no means a reflection of what I have worked hardest for. Not even volleyball. No matter how hard volleyball was on any certain day, that game has nothing on a tired three year old.