It seems that right as my head hits the pillow at night, I get this urge to “talk” with my husband Laird (who takes about 15 seconds to fall asleep) about family and the days events. Last night I was trying to explain to him that as a Mom I often feel like a coordinator more than a nurturer. Are the girls happy, stimulated, fed, going to the right activity, saying please and thank you, etc. I have so much love for them in my heart, and then I look back on the day and wonder did I even manage to take a moment with them, and just give them a hug? So great the way we women can guilt about almost anything. I recognize that feeling guilty about something is part of parenting, but there comes a point where one has to realize that being the coordinator or ‘Mrs. fun kill’ is part of the job. Why can’t I just accept that and get over it? I want to be everything to my girls? Somewhere along the line I realized my partner would not be all things to me, nor I too them. That I would focus on his strengths and pray he did the same. When it comes to child rearing, the bar we set for ourselves is unrealistic.
Since when was giving your best and your all, not good enough? Like all of you, I’m working to stay balanced. I read all the time that if you just give your children love the rest will work out. I’m not so sure of that. I think love is the greatest portion of the formula, but the guiding seems critical. Pick up after yourself, look in someone’s eyes when you clearly speak to them, say thank you, say please, look out for your brother or sister, and the list goes on and on.
I celebrate all of you parents out there who are trying to strike that perfect balance between snuggles and keeping the house in order.